Review

Chris and her homies decide to spend a weekend doing sex and drugs and rock and roll at Chris’s parents’ crib Higgins Haven. Wouldn’t you know it, said crib just happens to be on Crystal Lake, the by now happy stomping ground of one Jason Voorhees. Normally you would be fairly safe in the knowledge that since our gang of wild teens aren’t camp counsellors then they should be right, but unfortunately Jason is about to embark on an expansion of his favourite pastime.

Before you can get your ki ki ki ma ma ma on, our team of teens are set upon by a biker gang, Chris’s ex boyfriend Rick, and of course Jason in his never-ending quest to improve the genre pool. A rather dull slasher rolls out. Ready to take a swim in the Lake?

Okay, so it’s taken us a while to get around to one of the big warhorse franchises of the 1980s, but you really do need to take the F13th movies at a slow pace to avoid confusing the hell out of what happens in each instalment, and in between instalments. Clearly the between stuff confused the producers here, as all the background mythos established through the first two movies is out the window, or through the window if you happen to be Jason Voorhees. Forget camp counsellors, kids drowning in lakes, and Mrs Voorhees losing her head, that apparently didn’t happen by Part 3, with Jason now becoming an out and out psychopath with no fixed agenda.

The movie strangely starts with two prologue sequences that simply burnt up some running time and added nothing to our overall view of all things Crystal Lake. We get a recap of the penultimate scene in Part 2 where Ginny, using her child psychology skills, manages to take down wimpy Jason. This probably serves to keep the mentally retarded in the audience up with the fact that they were watching a F13th movie – heck, the last one was a year ago – and also indicates that between slaughter house rock times Jason has been hitting the gym and beefing up.

Jason gets his trademark hockey mask, enough said really

Our movie opens properly with the normal group of teens headed toward their dooms without a care in the world. Interestingly, Miner throws up a couple of final girl candidates: the much put upon Chris, who has some deep dark complex from a few months prior involving the woods around Crystal Lake and a certain psycho, and Vera, the thoughtful Hispanic character. So at least we have some interest going down as we wait to see who will go one on one with Jason at the movie’s climax. Which is just as well, as it’s a long row to hoe getting there.

Director Miner throws some humour into his opening gambit: the van disappearing in clouds of smoke – hey, it was just Chuck and Chili hitting the bong – and of course the whole Shelly thing. Don’t ask me about Chuck and Chili as I have no idea why the characters were involved, besides adding a couple of notches to Jason’s machete. Improbably they are a couple of older hippies doing a lot of drugs and hanging with a marauding group of teens. Possibly this is like the wildest thing, man, around the environs of Crystal Lake. Shelly is our odious comic relief for the evening, and has this thing with cosmetics and props going down involving acting murdered. You think that will have some part to play later as Jason comes out to play?

For no apparent reason we also get a group of three bikers, Ali, Fox, and Loco, who also pop up to simply add to Jason’s body count. I’ll give Miner the benefit of the doubt in that he actually has a plot device happening with petrol draining, which is surprising given the F13th franchise’s by now notable ability to not even bother with plot devices at the best of times. Anyways, as a gang of outlaw bikers, the trio are more from the fevered imaginations of suburban filmmakers than existing in reality.

Miner doesn’t do much behind the camera, but manages to use his sets well (some nice backdrops), and keeps things focused. We get enough meat on the bone about the characters, and the movie romps along toward final girl time with hardly a foot being put wrong. Plot foreshadowing is helping this pound puppy to keep yapping; the rickety bridge, van sans petrol, and water in the basement where the fuse box is. But end of day the movie comes across as pretty dull and lifeless, no pun intended. Basically you get a regimented slasher flick that adds zero to the genre and rehashes scenes from previous outings.

A couple of things did sort of make me wonder if Miner and his writers were maybe partaking of some of Chuck and Chili’s herb, mon. What was with Jason’s fixation on the barn and just what did happen between him and Chris a few months back? There also seems to be some sort of imperative for Final Girls to canoe out onto Crystal Lake that I really would like an explanation for. Is this like an instinct, or is it just a Final Girl trait that gets exposed around Crystal Lake, your call on that one. At least we get three “spring loaded” happenings going down involving a tree branch, a duck, and Mrs Voorhees, who seems to have taken time out of her busy schedule to get her head back on.

Acting as expected goes from the reasonable, Larry Zerner (Shelly), to the woeful, Jeffrey Rogers (Andy). Our three female leads are overly perky in that North American fashion, but not enough to irritate you. Full kudos to Dana Kimbell (Chris), Tracie Savage (Debbie), and Catherine Parks (Vera), with Parks in particular delivering on a character that has more depth than one expects from a slasher.

Paul Kratka (Rick), Rachel Howard (Chili), and David Katims (Chuck) are simply too old for the movie roles they play, and stick out like dog balls.

T&A is restricted to Tracie Savage teasing us with full on nudity, you don’t see much in a sort of more tasteful fashion than we have come to expect…. damn!!!!! The gals get Rogers showing off lack of gym work. The duck was naked toward the end if that’s any help.

Gore is kept middle of the road, with a couple of shocking scenes, but since it’s a slasher it’s not all about blood and guts flowing freely as opposed to gorenography outings.

My man Harry Manfredini was once again the lead dude behind the soundtrack with some help from Michael Zager. We get a disco version of the main theme, and some pretty tension-filled violin chords hitting warp factor nine at stages. Manfredini has the wonderful ability to use just a few notes to good impact in this franchise. Never fear, we also get lots of ki ki ki ma ma ma to be going on with.

Friday the 13th Part 3 was released to cinemas as a 3D effort, hence all those things poking at the screen throughout. Since I was watching the DVD version this became slightly tedious overall. Part 3 sort of entertained me but dragged somewhat as the producers tried to add some humour, some pathos, and some colour via the minor characters. It’s a slasher movie, hombres, we aren’t interested! There’s some tension in places, but overall the movie doesn’t add anything to the first couple of outings.

Dana Kimmell asked Frank Mancuso Jr to remove some of the gore and nudity that the original script included, hence why the final product is somewhat lacking in substance. Interestingly this is the one where Jason first picks up his trademark hockey mask, so cinema history is made right there.

Friday the 13th Part 3 ranks second in the franchise at the box office, excluding Freddy vs Jason, and took in $34.5 million in North America. Figures not available for international earnings. It must have made a good profit because Paramount kept on financing the franchise though the 8th movie.