Oh dear god just when you think it can’t get worse, Rusty T. Davis delivers yet another terrible episode to further erode the fan base. Naturally this doesn’t matter as he insanely believes there will be a huge uptake from new viewers to compensate for the long term viewers abandoning ship as it slowly sinks. The overnight figure of 2.6 million you would think should bring reality to the situation, this being the worse result in the franchise’s history, but no Davis is still drinking the kool aid and being apparently unaware just how bad things have gotten. If things keep going in this direction, we might see sub two million viewers by the end of this shorten season; apparently pumping out a decent amount of episodes is way too hard for the snowflakes now manning the lifeboats. The situation had deteriorated to such an extent that the nexus of evil involving the BBC and Disney is now hiding the Audience Appreciation Index, one wonders just how bad those figures are currently.

The Doctor is trying to impress Ruby by zipping into prehistoric times, which leads to the first joke involving a butterfly that falls flat on its arse. Naturally this is simply filler as the real episode gets underway with the TARDIS landing inside a space ship in the future. The duo have to run from a monster, that is so obviously CGI that the green screen is notable, and escape to the upper levels of what turns out to be less space ship and more space platform. Cutting things short, the platform is a breeding ground for human babies, and guess who is running it? If you said space babies, then keep on saying it about a zillion times and you will only be behind the Doctor saying it by a million or so. That’s about all I want to say, as the plot gets worse the further the episode goes, ending in one of the most juvenile endings I have ever had the misfortune to watch. No this isn’t a parody, really wish it was, and no it isn’t really bad fan fiction of the sort normal reserved for the Twilight franchise. Actually could we get some fan fiction made instead of the general river of sewage that Davis is currently delivering.

Our worst nightmares are being confirmed even this early in the season by Davies, who seems to have lost the plot completely with Doctor Who. Yes, the bollock child plotline is now being pushed heavily, as fans really dug that development formulated by the hack Chris Chibnall. The only fans left are the anoraks, who would excitedly watch a poo being flushed if it was being claimed to be an episode of the franchise. The Doctor, who stoically goes about his business is being replaced by a cry baby who has to rely on plot devices fixing the situation rather than his own natural wit. Add in jokes that fall flatter than a pancake, plotlines that are fracking imbecilic in nature, and you have the perfect storm or disaster looming. The WOKE crew don’t want the odd fans and should by now be discovering that the “modern audience” are too busy whinging about things to take time out to view the show in the first place. Rusty where’s your replacement audience mate, it doesn’t exist, wake up your ivory tower is starting to show its cracks. The BBC might be a sheltered workshop but Disney is going to need to build an actual audience.

So back to the meat and three veg, we have already discussed how Gatwa simply plays Gatwa, rather than adopting the requirements of the role, and I have to say Millie Gibson is also simply playing Millie Gibson rather than being the representation of the audience, as Doctor Who companions are meant to be. So in short, don’t expect decent acting in the episode, or indeed the season I would imagine, you aren’t going to find any. At best the acting is of the type you would expect from the local amateur theatre repertoire team doing really bad pantomime. I hate to think we’re we are going to end up with the support cast by series end.

I really didn’t want to review the plot, which in this episode brings new meaning to the term “sub-standard”, but you know, requirement of reviewing. So the baby station has to be one of the stupidest idea yet to darken the franchise. And guess what the babies are running things, as they do in zero situations. But if faced with a monster you are probably better off getting help from the space babies than Gatwa’s Doctor Who. Anyways the babies are either babies or able to handle a flamethrower as the plot requires. Yes, this is lazy plotting by Davis who seemingly had no one reviewing his scripts or indeed bothering with a second draft. Equally problematic the monster is apparent made of snot, as the computer took the babies fear of the “bogeyman” literally. Ruby took a while to work this out, but hey blonde right, Millie your roots are showing btw. Don’t even get me started on the physics on display here, apparently a space station can operate as a space ship as required, think that through. By the by, how did the baby get out of its pram and into the cupboard it is hiding in!?!

I can’t be sure but I think Davis is going for humour in this one, the jokes fall flat so I’m not entirely sure to be honest. Besides the snot, and Ruby getting a shower of the substance, every second line appears to be something of a joke, or it might just be bad dialog writing, make your own mind up Bro. I probably should give a bunch of examples, but I was kind of checking my phone messages and talking to one of my Bros during the runtime of this episode, yes boring comes to mind, and I am not about to watch Space Babies again to bring additional examples to the table.

Let’s get down with the snot monster, which thankfully appears to be a single episode foe. If you think back to 1990s video games, then you are in the realms of what is being put on the screen for our entertainment. While the beastie had a mouthful of deadly looking fangs, I wasn’t getting even slightly uneasy during its appearances. The creature simply lacked the danger requirements that would work for a horror show, and for sure is probably leaving the Sci-Fi community scratching their heads in confusion. Poor episode has poor monster I guess, par for the course as series fourteen unravels episode by episode.  Anyone going to purchase the action figure of this one? Don’t even think Eaglemass are going to rush out product here, sales are clearly going to be basement level at best.

Just to finish off a few questions readers may have wondered about the logic of the episode, and if we had to really think about things logic isn’t at work here. The Doctor spends quite some energy on rescuing the snot monster, you know the one that we assume is eating the space babies!?! How exactly are the babies going to fend for themselves on the new planet, which the Doctor has selected with no atmospheric or other verifications. And did I mention a space station that suddenly becomes a space ship? Think about the physics involved here and the likelihood of the space station ripping itself apart, clearly Davis didn’t think about this as the evidence here is he isn’t exactly Arthur C. Clarke.

If we ever needed proof that the time travelling franchise is in the hands of people with no concept of its history and any liking for the mythos, then this episode is that proof. The writing is terrible, beyond belief that Davis has become this poor at the written word, the actors can’t act, and the science is no longer a part of the franchise. I would like to say this is the worse the franchise can get, but I have a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before Davis et al have finished. With viewer numbers dropping faster than Gatwa’s reputation as an Actor, surely the House of Mouse will pull the pin on the whole fiasco, but hey tick boxes are being ticked, who the hell knows what goes on over at the House of Mouse. Guess we are now only left with humour to get through the series, sure as hell there is nothing else available for us. Doctor Who as a franchise is on its last legs as far as popular culture is concerned, how long will they allow it to wither before they put a stake through its decayed heart?