A U.S sub off the coast has a slight accident, and nuclear material is released into the waters off the coast of Sydney. Unfortunately, the material ends up on a secluded beach as fish dine out on it and get an extreme case of food poisoning and wash up on the shoreline where they provide sustenance to the local funnelweb spider population. Things deteriorate as the nuclear material unlocks primordial traits and urges amongst the deadly arachnids and they are soon attacking locals, with a mounting death toll happening. Naturally the Government isn’t sitting on its laurels, do they have any, and as a second generation of larger more aggressive spiders emerge from the sewers under Sydney the State and Federal government turn to a nuclear option as refuges start building up on the exit routes out of NSW’s capital city. The Yanks drop the neutron bomb in the CBD, which for sure kills off the latest wave of eight legged freaks, but an even larger more advanced and frighteningly more intelligent species takes their place and not only Sydney, but the whole of the state are under immediate threat, with the expansion of the spiders likely to not recognise state borders. Can a CSIRO spider expert develop a solution beyond a larger slipper, or is the continent in even more dire straits than first thought? End of day, can the Australian Government and military do what they should be doing, or will personal advantage override the national emergency?

Before getting into the meat of the novel, let’s put the book into the context of what exactly it is and what it is trying to achieve. funnelweb is proudly in the tradition of B grade SciFi/Horror, you know those big bug movies that were all the rage in the 1950s. Author Richard Ryan isn’t trying to write the great Australian novel here, he is simply trying to entertain the reader with an out there horror read that doesn’t bother with anything like an exploration of the human condition. The basic premise going down is fairly insane to begin with, so let’s not get bogged down with debating how many Angels can dance on the head of a pin, hell that would take attention away from the next big spider mayhem scene. And guess what kids, that’s exactly why you are reading this review if indeed you haven’t already picked up the novel. So we are in the realms of the Penny Dreadful here, and Richard Ryan is unapologetic about that, you are getting exactly what you think you are going to get when you pick up a novel called funnelweb.

I really enjoyed Ryan’s approach to handling how the funnelweb threat developed, rather than rushing into the full horror of the final threat, Ryan has the situation growing in scope, with the full development being due to the human reaction to a situation that could well have been contained and ultimately destroyed if personal advancement hadn’t entered the picture. We start with normal sized arachnids who are invigorated to attack humans, we then progress through large sized spiders with venom that is more toxic than previous non-irradiated spiders have available, before we finally end up with giant monsters able to take on leopard tanks etc. If the author had of jumped straight to his final spider iteration, the reader would quite likely have dropped the novel and found something else to entertain him or herself. If you really want to face some horror, more on the horror elements later, the later stages of the eight legged freaks can also squirt highly caustic venom to good effect.

While the author spends a lot of time getting down and dirty with his web spinning antagonists he doesn’t stint on his development of his major characters, who are diverse and represent all levels of modern Australia society. We get bogans, who admittedly are criminals in this novel, new Australians coming to grief rather than having some immigrant shield of implausibility (hey new Australian myself folks), Scientists, soldiers, and of course politicians both State and Federal. Richard Ryan is an equal opportunity author here, no one is safe from the plague exploding out of Sydney, regardless of who they are.

While the Author does have his main narrative galloping along like a probable Melbourne Cup winner, things go from bad to terrible to outright insane in rapid fashion, he does take time out of his busy schedule to insert individual struggles, some of which have a good outcome, most of which end in horror. I got to say a lot of the inserted individual tales would make for decent short stories in their own right, anyone making a streaming series based on this novel have a tonne of material to get a bloody decent first season rocking. So if after a novel to read on the commute into the pickle factory, you could do a whole lot worse than giving Ryan’s B grade horror epic a go.

Richard Ryan’s narrative style perfectly matches his subject matter, there is zero point in going “quality literature” when you are dealing with honking big spiders. Before we get the normal clambering of your literature types, hey you are reading the wrong site Boo, not everything is written for your local Universities to pump out tons of unwanted paper analysing every glance, fart, and piece of dialogue. The Author is satisfying a reading public who want to be entertained rather than forced into bizarre chasms of self-reflection and writing circus tricks. Sorry University types, your average citizen can now pick up a novel at their local shopping centre, it is no longer an elitist activity, and yes the number of books being released each month that appeals to the average dude or dudette far out numbers your elitist tomes. So getting back on track, Richard Ryan is appealing to the great unwashed, who make up the majority of people reading fiction by the way. And if you think Ryan is a one trick pony, the dude also rocks out prose of the Sherlock Holmes devotees out there. The Author knows which audience he is writing for, and focuses on writing what that audience wants.

Before wrapping up here, have I out stayed my welcome, the Author delivers one of the major requirements of the B grade outing. Yes, folks, there is room for a sequel, which I am for sure going to buy into on release date. The sequel, for those wanting more info, would move the action to the U.S and see how the land of the brave deals with venom spitting giant arachnoids. Yes I realise there's a Trump joke in there. As of writing I’m not seeing any news of a possible sequel and for sure Richard Ryan isn’t hitting the interview circuit to press the flesh and announce a new title. Hey Ryan, fire up the word processor, we want this novel expanded into a trilogy. Besides which some closure on Tasmania might be worth your time.

As a reader you are taking a risk dialling into a novel called funnelweb, for sure you are not going to be getting an exploration of the human condition, or a serious horror novel, but on the second point there I might be a tad off the reservation. For sure Richard Ryan is serious about his subject matter, while writing prose that is infinitely readable, delivering a novel that will have the reader hooked from page one to page final. Naturally I am giving funnelweb a huge recommendation, the book is a seriously good read for those simply after being entertained. About the only people who are not going to dive head first into the waters here are extreme arachnophobias and naval gazers. For the rest of us, the water is fine, and the reading is mighty good. Get those pages turning folks, Australia have their very own critters striking back writer, it is about time given about everything in the country has a serious case of fracking people up.