So we are at the start of four or so specials that sees David Tennant and Russell T. Davis trying to save the sinking ship that is Doctor Who, which let’s face it ratings wise is going down quicker than the Titanic. I’m not going to sugar coat this one, the special is not as bad as some haters might lead you to believe, but is nowhere near as good as the apologists are trying to make out. To be honest it’s a pretty average episode with some weird aspects that are not going to endear the show to either fans or occasional viewers. Don’t expect too much and you might have a good time, though that introduction via a Tennant voice over is wasted as the show unfolds. Let’s crack the space vortex and check out the lay of the land.

The Doctor arrives in modern day London and runs into old time companion Donna Noble, who of course will not survive the meeting if she recognises the Doctor. That would be lore from the Nu-Who era folks, and Davis is about to poo on that lore by the end of the episode, hey some plot foreshadowing. Anyways seems Donna is happily married to Shaun and has a teenage daughter Rose who happens to be trans, this is important to the narrative, but really shouldn’t be. Naturally an alien space ship crash lands on planet Earth, as they have a tendency to do in this franchise, and the Doctor is investigating. In the first of many coincidences the Doctor grabs a taxi ride with Shaun, Donna’s husband, and finds a perfectly landed rocket – of the 1960s variety, which is inexplicable empty. Guess what, the Alien creature, the Meep, is discovered by Donna’s daughter Rose and the family are soon helping the fuzzy creature in the face of insectoid hunters out to get it. With the Doctor’s help everyone escapes the Alien menace, rescuing he Meep in the process, but the Doctor wonders if everything is as it appears. Soon London is in danger and the Doctor and Donna must once again rise to the challenge. Okay I’ve probably made that sound a lot more exciting than the show actually was.

Getting the obvious problems out of the way first; and by heck there’s a lot more issues here than I have room to cover. We have some bollocks about using the right pronouns, that’s right an alien entity is worried about modern human snowflake concerns. I’m not getting into the whole trans thing, it wasn’t needed in the episode and distracted from the main plot; Davis clearly losing his mind completely. There is also a chick in a wheelchair that fires darts and missiles (don’t even think about the physics there). She has better aim than a gunslinger and once again the whole plot point isn’t necessary; lip service being paid to the physically disabled as Davis keeps trying to score with the lunatic left. Hey and we haven’t even got to the plot and cinematic issues, hold onto your hats kids, this one just keeps on giving. I am not even going to get into the whole “male Time Lord” thing, watch the episode, it makes no sense and should have hit the cutting room floor. The Doctor has been saving planet Earth and for that matter the Universe from ancient times, sure give that away, not like we are going to have Alien problems in the future. Davis really shat the bed with that scene, it made no sense and was pandering to the vocal minority who don’t actually watch the show.

Slight aside kids, anyone remember Davros, you know creator of the Daleks who wasn’t in a wheelchair at any time during the 60 odd years Doctor Who has aired. Apparently Davis got butt hurt by this character as it displayed people in wheelchairs as being evil somehow. Strangely have never made the connection there, but I tend to operate in the real world rather than the BBC sheltered workshop. Just a quick thought, people in wheelchairs can’t be evil, as opposed to their able bodied compatriots, nice of you to tell wheelchair users how they operate Davis, you abled body bigot.

So the visuals are working in this special, you can readily believe the locations without having ever visited the hood. We get a solidly middle class neighbourhood in London and one of those factories that make you wonder exactly what they ever produced there. It’s all pretty drab to be honest without anything sticking out making the viewer wonder if more care should have been taken. While there’s nothing sensational to report on, Director Rachel Talalay does a serviceable job in getting the script onto screen without any notable flaws in the process. Out of interest Rachel is the first USA born and breed director to work to take the helm in Doctor Who, pity she didn’t – there I go with my pronouns – have anything more substantial script wise to sink her teeth into. Would really like to see what she could do with something set on an Alien world.

Acting was, as you would expect, solid from David Tennant and Catherine Tate, but the rest of the cast were pretty abysmal. No one was exactly looking at the camera, but I figured there may have been a few takes to avoid that occurrence. Really don’t think you will need to trouble yourself about any of the support cast names, we are not likely to see them in anything substantial in the future. Really hope a couple of these characters do not have recurrent roles, they simply aren’t good enough to lend anything to future episodes.

Unfortunately, The Star Beast is pure Science Fiction with no room for Dark Genre sensibilities in its runtime. Perhaps the only hint of the dark and gruesome is the Meeps dietary requirements, and that mouth fill of teeth that a white pointer would envy. Really hope one of these specials dives headlong into the dark end of the pool, else it will be pretty shallow swimming for yours truly.

The first of the specials with David Tennant and Catherine Tate had me wondering why I was looking forward to the show again. It’s pretty vanilla, with no surprise twists, and once again a new villain that isn’t going to have anyone hiding behind their sofas. While the leads carry the show, they need to as the script is bare bones with a tad too many distraction scenes that should have hit the editing floor. I’m left wondering if Davis is all out of original ideas and should have left the show to someone else, yes Star Beast seems very reminisant of previous episodes. Pretty average start to the new run, not worth taking time out of your busy day to check out, no recommendation on this one. Fingers crossed the specials get better before the new season starts proper.