At least we are getting a two parter to finish the series, with The Legend of Ruby Sunday being the first part. And oh boy talk about an episode full of issues, stupid, not thought out, poorly written is just the tip of the iceberg of disaster here. Hey Davis where is your “modern audience” Bro, worse overnight result for the franchise ever with a 2.02 million result. The series has been a flaming wreck from episode one, with Davis and the BBC lying about what is happening and the Access Media doing their level best to pull the wool over people’s eyes. Davis is lucky series fifteen was filmed in tandem with series fourteen, else the franchise would have been cancelled a couple of episodes ago. Turns out narcissism doesn’t tend to work with a modern audience, yes no quotes, shockingly it’s the same audience it has always been, agendas don’t buy a cup of joe when it comes to entertainment. Word of advice Rusty, the show is aimed at the family friendly demographics, you are not going to succeeded if you are completely ignorant of that fact, your average mum and dad are not going to be interested in intersectional politics.

For some reason the TARDIS is zooming into UNIT central, the reason for this is never explained of course, that would involve decent writing. Anyways all’s good, and soon the full resources of a secret Government agency are thrown behind an attempt to discover who Ruby’s mother might be, yes that’s believable. Anyways the Doctor and Ruby go back in time to check out Ruby being dropped on the church steps via a time gizmo UNIT have created, hell it’s not like they have a TARDIS or anything. Okay things are explained in terms of time lines and such, but this is pretty fluid as Rusty’s script demands. Anyways unfortunately no one can identify Ruby’s mum so moving along, because plot threads don’t matter to Russell. Seems old mate Susan Twist is now CEO of a software company called S Triad, which is apparent an anagram for TARDIS, which of course it is but the whole anagram thing starts to edge into complete retardation later in the episode as it raises its ugly head again and again. Anyways Sue’s company is about to launch a new free software program that will revolutionise life as we know it, didn’t Elon already do that with X *snigger*, in a plot development that is completely unique that we haven’t seen before, in this era of the franchise. The Doctor rushes off to check our Sue, who he somehow thinks might be his granddaughter, say what!?! Oh and he is helped by old timey companion Mel; where did they dredge her up from, and oops Rusty that would be fan service, something your team are not in the least supportive of. With the Doctor absent, UNIT scientists suddenly realise the TARDIS, parked in the only office the organisation seems to have, has a lifeform attached to it. Add in a couple of possessed chicks, and ladies and gentlemen we have the return of Sutekh! Ominous lightening flash please, yes it’s an old foe from back in the dark ages of Classic Who.

Okay let’s get the antagonist sorted up front, and endure yet another retcon from Davis, who seems incapable of keeping the lore straight, *snigger*. You have to laugh at this stage folks, otherwise anger and mass destruction is the only course of action. For Whovians, and those of us who travel the light fandango of the franchise, we will remember Sutekh appeared in the 1975 story arc Pyramids of Mars, an altogether better outing than the one we are having to wade through currently.  Apparently Sutekh is based off the Egyptian God Set. The Egyptian God lords it over deserts, storms, disorder, and violence, but is never identified as the God of death, something Davis didn’t do the least bit of research on apparently. Anyways, and to dispel a few internet Whovian experts who also failed to do any research, Sutekh was sorted out by the fourth Doctor, who extended the terminus of a time tunnel into the far future, trapping Sutekh who apparently dies of old age, or does he? Damn not getting those pronouns correct. The portal, used to generate the time tunnel, overloads leading to destruction and the feeling we hadn’t seen the last of Sutekh, which of course we hadn’t due to Rusty’s resurrection of the old foe. The idea of Sutekh somehow hitching a ride on the TARDIS is at once stupid and in terms of the lore complete rubbish. Davis give yourself an upper cut, which might wake you up to the mediocrity you are currently pumping out.

But let’s not get bogged down, there’s a lot more problematic issues with The Legend of Ruby Sunday. Unfortunately, I don’t have room to point out every issue, but hey let’s cover the highlights and take it for granted Davis must have sipped a couple too many after dinner sherries before writing this rubbish.

In one of the more unbelievable developments Rose, Donna Noble’s daughter not the decent one, is now employed by UNIT and is tasked with investigating shoplifters, a topic of vital importance to UNIT clearly. She, that is sarcasm, I’m not even mentioning her character’s young age or the fact that in all reality Yasmin Finney (Rose), is simply included for inclusion purposes other than in any way helping with plot development. Zoomers please take note, organisations in reality are only going to employ you if you don't have a skill they need, don’t believe the hype, it probably only applies to the BBC and Hollywood, both of which seem to have forgotten realities. Having secured a position with UNIT, Rose decides to prance off with Ruby to retrieve a video tape, without seeking permission from her Boss or showing anything like a work ethic. Once again Zoomers this is some bizarre reality Davis has dreamed up, act like this in the real world and in the very least you are going to have an appointment with HR.

Rose isn’t the only problematic appointment by UNIT, no wonder they come across as completely incompetent in every situation, let’s talk about Morris Gibbons a scientific advisor – yeah let’s go with that. Apparently the young character, who spends the episode on a Segway rather than walking the couple of meters he is required to do on occasion, is a genius – self-proclaimed of course; your Davis of the world really believe in self-aggrandisement. Anyways like Rose, Morris proves to be completely incompetent in all aspects of his role and really takes up space rather than adding to our viewing, colour me shocked. I’m not even going to mention Rose’s mother, apparently relatives can come and go at UNIT at their pleasure, wow security is really subpar.  

I really enjoyed UNIT’s time device, which takes a whole room to house. It looked to be circa 1950s, proving that technology hasn’t advanced any in the last 90 odd years at the agency. We’re talking big dials, manual switches and those big levers that used to be all the rage at train switching stations. You don’t think makers of Doctor Who were using a decommissioned substation or something similar do you? On the bright side at least we have some physical effects, which saves some blushes from the CGI crew, who really show that particular branch of film effects hasn’t improved over the last decade or so. Before I forget, the facial effects for the two chicks are clearly masks, are they not even trying to hide the zippers in the monster suits anymore, which if anything are worse than the Avian ones used in Rogue. Let’s not waste money in making a decent episode is clearly taking hold in all aspects of the show.

Hey almost forgot the anagram overload the episode presents us with, Davis is going buck naked crazy with the idea in The Legend of Ruby Sunday. So at least the TARDIS one was somewhat clever, I didn’t note the anagram in the least while viewing, but somehow Davis contrives to make an anagram for the name Sutekh by forgetting completely how anagrams actually work. Given the I.Q of the average viewer, no foul, who cares about how things work. The one anagram that really had me laughing out loud however was the name of a character which appears as an afterthought, because it was never previously mentioned. Harriet Arbinger, can you work out the anagram, hint discard a whole bunch of letters from Harriet Arbinger’s first name. Face palming time again kids, Davis really has lost the concept of decent writing.

Out of interest Mrs Flood makes another appearance, but I’m starting to think she isn’t Ruby’s mother but the character as written appears to be of some importance to the overall narrative being developed here. Actually I’m starting to think that Flood is doing a Crazy Ralph, (Friday the 13th reference kids, watch the first couple of movies in that franchise), you know the character who is the harbinger of Doom. Oops might have given away Davis’ name anagram, sorry about that if you hadn’t worked it out yet. Not entirely sure we need Mrs Flood, but guess all will be revealed in series fourteen’s final episode.

The Legend of Ruby Sunday is one of those episodes that seems to be all filler, broken down the plot could have been covered in about five minutes of viewing time. We get the final villain, never referenced previously in the series of course, and a whole bunch of narrative threads that still remain hanging in the air. Needless to say the script is complete rubbish, Gatwa cries again and has to be told to pretty much man up by Mel, and nothing has a satisfying resolution. Add in completely incompetent supporting cast members, that do nothing to advance the narrative, and you have a bucket of holes trying to hold back the deluge of former viewers tuning out. No recommendation, this episode just seemed to roll by with next to nothing of interest happening. We got Sutekh, great, nothing else happened. And remember I didn’t have room to cover all the issues with this episode.