Doom (2005)

Director Andrzej Bartkowiak
Writers Dave Callaham, Wesley Strick
Starring Dwayne Johnson, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Ben Daniels, Al Weaver
Genre Sci-Fi
Tagline No one gets out alive.
Country

Talk us through it

A group of Colonial Marines head to Mars to work out what's happened to the UAC research facility located on the planet. Seems UAC are on an archaeological dig, are also conducting weapons research, oh and are dabbling in genetics on live subjects. No prizes for guessing where this is headed; pretty soon our marines are knee deep in Aliens genetically modified super human monsters.

Things are complicated by marine second in command Reaper being the brother of one of the UAC Scientists. His parents also died on Mars due to an accident or something. Anyone pay attention to that part of the movie? The marines must stop anything contaminated getting through the gate back to Earth, clean up the Mars facility, and rescue both data and base personal. One of the worst movies of the modern century ensues. Hey, it's got Kiwi actor Karl Urban so stop whinging.

Ready to join the Corps and go on a bug hunt?

Review

"We're gonna need something with a little bit more kick." - Sarge

I came at Doom in a roundabout fashion. My son is what's called a retro gamer, i.e. he plays older computer and console games. Recently he got into the whole "Doom" thing and has been immersed in the universe through game releases one to three. Naturally - what's with kids and the net? - he quickly learnt there was a movie adaptation of the game and immediately wanted to know if we had a copy. The next day I was down at Virgin checking for a television series my wife wanted (no, not Sex in the City; she already has all those plus the movie), and noted they had Doom the movie on sale for a tenner. A quick view of the back sleeve elicited the information that the film starred Karl Urban, hooray, enough said, money was laid down and movie media changed hands. Oh dear God in Heaven that was my first mistake, let's check into Mars City and see what's on the slab.

Since someone is going to ask, besides the obvious question about why anyone would bothered reviewing this hackneyed cross fertilised production, the answer is one Karl Urban here in a leading role. Karl is of course a Kiwi actor hence Doom immediately gets onto my radar. This review is an update on one I did for another site.

Writers Dave Callaham and Wesley Strick were pretty much on a hiding to nothing with this movie, as what can you honestly do with a first person shooter that simply involves blowing away multiple hell spawn of various degrees of toughness? Well, what you can do if you write for a living in Hollywood is jettison the gateway opening to Hell, under pressure from right-wing religious groups, and go with the perennial favourite of the old genetics manipulation. I felt roundly used and abused with this development, "Doom" after all is all about Hell mouths, various demons, and those spider things at the last levels. Further ensuring the audience would be left wondering if the writers had ever actually played the games was a tacked on relationship between Reaper and his sister Samantha Grimm, where did that go again? And also a weird parental demise thing that raised its head a couple of times before getting tired and going back to sleep. At least the writers worked out the likely audience were there for action, and plenty of it!

We don't get anything remotely resembling the plot developed in the games, and just to ensure it's not going to be a winner of a night we don't get much in the way of an actual movie either.

I actually remember back in '05 being pretty annoyed that the Studio had shown zero balls and had caved under some pressure from the Religious right, who let's face facts here folks were never likely to be the core demographic for a movie adaptation of "Doom". The fans were being told what they could view by some narrow minded morons with a bee under their bonnet who also possibly expect you to shower fully clothed. Some years later it leaves Doom as a non-sensical hole filled mess to be honest. By deep sixing the storyline, as minimal as it was, the Studio got exactly what they deserved. Out of interest the next generation, as represented by retro-gamers, still keeps the anger alive and views the movie as pretty lame. Well done the Studio, and congratulations to the Religious Right, you managed to pretty much waste everyone's time with that decision.

Director Andrzej Bartkowiak, henceforth referred to as Dir. Bart in this review, rode into town and figured he'd drink at the point and shoot saloon. There's zero artistry going down from Dir. Bart; he's simply there to make sure the "actors" don't stare at the camera while delivering lines and that the Rock, stupid name, doesn't eat the key grip by mistake. Dir. Bart does introduced a POV from Reaper as he blows away various zombies and other mutants toward the end of the film, that no doubt found favour with the game fans as it's reminiscent of playing the actual game. For most film fans the sequence is over long and the CGI sucks the life out of the Universe. It's not as bad as Uwe Boll's injection of actual game scenes into House of the Dead, but it's shambling down the street from the same grave yard. To be honest the scene hasn't aged all that well and looks added due to Dir. Bart having no idea how to flesh out his movie to cinema length.

There are some positives to be taken from Dir. Bart's work in this movie. The lighting overall is excellent; moody, but not so dark that you can't see what's going down. Major creature reveals are kept till well into the movie, it's sort of logical, and we get by my count three of the creations from the first two games. Dir Bart keeps the pace moving and the couple of hours you will spend in country flash past pretty quickly. Probably a decent enough effort if you simply dialled in for an actioner, I was unfortunately looking for something more.

Dir Bart. should also be congratulated for some excellent work with blue filters, keeping some tension up in the sewer scenes, and having a few nifty creature POVs to dig in on. Pity the movie then comes across as some weird cross pollution from Aliens, Predator, and Resident Evil.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (Sarge) headlines the thespian list. This is about the only sort of movie the ex wrestler can score and he does okay with a non demanding role that you somehow think Arnie would have done a lot better with. No Johnson can't act, but then Doom wasn't exactly after theatre-trained actors. Kiwi actor Karl Urban (John Grimm) simply smoulders away throughout and is clearly getting no instructions from Dir. Bart, as he comes off confused in various scenes. Bad career choice Karl, pick a better agent as the one you have clearly sucks. Rosamund Pike (Samantha Grimm) inserts some femininity into a pretty testosterone-filled outing. Pike is probably doing her best with what passes as a role in Doom and would have enhanced her reputation.

For a movie that inspired an "R" rating there's no T&A on show for the lads. Rosamund Pike is nice to look at but doesn't even get down to a small tight tank top. Damn! The ladies score The Rock and Karl Urban showing off the gym work, so dig on in there girls.

Clint Mansell handled the score and pretty much reproduced what you get in the games. Tight atmospheric background underlined by some light game style rock as things heat up. Nothing you haven't heard before, or probably since if we have to be honest.

Summary Execution

Guess I got exactly what I expected with Doom, lots of action with just a passing sniff of a script. I wasn't exactly bored during the course of the movie, but then it didn't have me on the edge of my seat either. I'm calling a passing grade for a dude's night, mucho beer and nachos would help, but a complete miss under any other situation. One of those movies I was bound to touch base with at some stage, but was never going to phone the next day.

Doom came under attack from the religious right in the U.S. almost immediately after it was announced. Religious groups did not want the satanic overtones included and the studio caved under pressure. Hence why we get a movie that game fans and non game fans alike didn't exactly welcome with open arms. No matter what your opinion of German games man about town Uwe Boll, at least he throws what goes down in the game onto the screen and pretty much damn the torpedoes there. If they ever do a sequel, I'm going with the title "Hell on Earth", they should shoot Down Under as we'll pretty much tell the religious right where they can park their arses. Hint, it's hot and doesn't freeze over.

Guess if you have played the games then you will want to catch the movie. Bright news there is that it's in the sales bins if you can find a copy. If you haven't played the games or were not impressed with them then feel free to give the movie a complete miss, as you won't be left out of polite dinner conversation when the subject of Doom comes up. Does that statement make any sort of sense?

"My husband and I were not impressed with the movie, but Anne was very much taken with the antipodean actor Karl Urban"

"Right you are Marge, now could you pass that grouse gravy - me chicken is getting a bit lonely over here".

ScaryMinds Rates this movie as ...

Saturday arvo fodder if waiting on the footy to kick off. No where near a competant movie, Boredwood once again serving up any old sort of shite and hoping punters wont notice.