Bloodlust (1992)

Review

Three Vampires are terrorising the mean streets of Melbourne, killing randoms and pretty much stealing their stuff. The two female vamps, Frank and Lear, use sex to score a withdrawal from the local blood donors, while the male vamp Tad - who looks like he should be fronting a glam heavy metal band, simply uses violence. Their activities don't go unnoticed by Brother Bem and his collection of religious nutters who are out to do a bit of staking for the Lord.

Deciding that Melbourne is getting slightly hot for them, the local constabulary in the form of Zeke and Deke are also hunting their arses, the vampires hatch a plan to rob the local casino of three million dollars and flee into the hinterland to meet up at a "home handyman special" in Geeksville. Naturally things go completely pear shaped, and the vampires are soon fleeing from religious nutters, coppers with weird Yank accents, and the local Mafioso. Things come to a head in Geeksville as an all out fire fight erupts with no one prepared to take prisoners.

There comes a time in every Downunder dark genre Reviewer's career when they need to take one for the team and actual sit through, and then write about 1992's Bloodlust. Okay the movie isn't the worse horror flick ever made in this Country, but sure as hell it was trying it's very best to achieve that accolade. From the shonky Yank accents put on for no apparent reason, through the bad acting, to the at stages over dramatic lines being fired off the movie is a disaster from whoa to go, except it falls into one of those so bad it's good categories. I just kept watching this one like a possum caught in the headlights of some tragic cinematic experience not quite believing what I was watching. Oh heck it has a weird sort of enjoyment factor, probably down to the T&A and over the top violence.

While the plot is certainly convoluted, am sure some scenes hit the editing floor that should have been kept in, I wasn't over concerned about things making a whole lot of sense. Considering the content we do get you either just sit there chugging along happily waiting on the next gratuitous sex scene or bit of over the top violence, or if sensible you hit the off button and get on with your life. I had a morbid curiosity to see how things would turn out so fell into the first category as one too many chase scenes took place in some of the more recognisable areas of Melbourne.

Things actually start out okay in this movie, which lulls you into a false feeling that you might be about to embark on something good. A dude is running down a side street in Melbourne, drops his keys, fumbles with them, and then finds his car won't start. Normal horror fodder and I was waiting on the vampires to go all fang on his arse. Except this isn't the case, the dude is actually a vampire himself and he's being chased down by a crew of religious nutters, can I get a hallelujah there brother. Our vamp on the run is pulled out of his car and staked with the sort of pole your granddad used to train his tomato bushes on, honking big hunk of wood. So vampers on the run from Fundos, excellent stuff, I can watch that sort of thing all day long, well as long as John Carpenter is in the director's chair. We then cut to a blond chick having sex with some unnamed in a hotel room, and they are not holding anything back with this scene as the Directors mixes in about every naughty part he can get away with as well as some claret of the throat ripping out kind. We then finally switched to a redhead chick who is doing the dominatrix thing with some old dude, that ends with the crusty getting his throat slashed. So sex and violence, how are we doing so far, awesomely well thank you very much.

During the rest of the movie we have more T&A and violence every ten minutes or so to ensure the audience's attention is maintained, unfortunately that comes at a price. The bits in between the "good stuff" are just terrible. From piss poor humour, through some of the worse acting you will ever have the misfortunate to see, to scenes that look like they were badly cut and edited Bloodlust fails on almost every level as a movie. Having said that it is still head and shoulders better than your average Troma flick or Houseboat Horror, which for mine retains the title of worse Aussie horror flick ever.

Okay clearly Bloodlust is going to appease the gorehounds, and it's a movie that just doesn't stop giving. Besides more sadomasochism than you can throw a whip at we have castrations, necro-sodomy, and Priest bitch fights. Yes the movie is completely un-PC and seems to delight in being so. The cover carries a "Banned in Queensland" sticker; that was pretty much our Video Nasty contribution.

Speaking of the cover, Monster Pictures have gone over the top with this release. The movie has recently turned 21 and Monster immediately re-released with a startling cover that reminds of the VHS release in days of yore, more extras than you can throw a room full of horror geeks at, and a mini poster for the flick. So even if the movie doesn't meet your expectations or acceptance levels, there's plenty of other content to rock on to. I should point out Monster have really done some work on the audio, there's none of that uneven shite previous releases contented themselves with, and I think the Distributor might have toned down the visual glare from the original print. Saw this movie a decade or so ago and it was pretty much unwatchable, Monster have your back there, Bloodlust may not be your cup of blood but the print is definitely watchable.

Surprisingly the soundtrack for Bloodlust is the best thing about the movie. The Producers went with Industrial rock, hell yeah, and we get a bunch of bands I've never heard of that really want you to go check if they have anything available on disc. Without giving too much away you are going to be treated to the musical stylings of Revolting Cocks, Pailhead, Lead Into Gold, and 1000 Homo DJs.

Okay before I close I just wanted to mention the epic fire fight going down at the end of the movie. We have Vampires vs. Religious Fundamentalists vs. Gangsters, all tooled up with heavy ordinance or weapons that wouldn't be out of place in the History channel's Vikings. It's definitely a hoot and the movie makers spare no chances to show maximum carnage.

I've actually been wanting to get my teeth into Bloodlust for quite some time but unfortunately the only previous print I was aware of was shockingly a Swedish release by Njuta Films. End of day that release was a bit on the nose to be honest. Anyway I was cruising JB HiFi and ran across the Monster Picture's release, which has sorted out the movie's technical issues and hit the floor with a solid package. Okay Bloodlust itself was pretty bad, poor acting, a script that was simply woeful, and special effects that look like they cost all of a buck fifty, but at least I could watch the movie in style. Sure the flick is another in the Cult Aussie releases, and it is terrible, but there's a sort of charm to all the T&A and violence. It's like a particular bloody cartoon that has seeped into the real world, you're not expected to take it all seriously, you are expected to simply have some fun with it. Worth a look folks if only to complete your Aussie dance card, and at under $20 for the featured packed DVD that's way cheaper than watching some shite big budget Boredwood cookie cutter on the big screen. Be careful this movie might just get your lust up for some additional Ozploitation.