Review

Abby Quinn is pregnant for the second time, she lost her first baby, and is haunted by natal fear. Her husband Russell is battling for a condemned downs syndrome client, Jimmy, dubbed "the voice of god killer". Russell believes his client's trial lawyer was incompetent and is doing everything in his power to get the death sentence remitted.

The Quinns have a garage apartment for rent and finally get a tenant in the form of ancient language scholar David. We as viewers know that David has been on the scene of various biblical portents, breaking seals and the like, but the Quinns are in the dark. Over a meal one evening David relates the story of the Guff, a vague Christian idea that there is a Hall of Souls, which once empty will usher in the end of times, that would be Armageddon or something to you and me Russ. The whole Guff notion is one the movie requires, throws up, and then gets mixed up with all sorts of Biblical stuff.

Abby increasingly comes to believe David is a Religious nutter out to do harm to her unborn child. She's also a sticky beak of the highest order and rummages through David's scrolls, ancient languages huh, when he is out one day. She discovers a scroll and heads on down to the Jewish quarter, couldn't think of anyway else to put that yes it's that sort of a movie, and eventually enlists the aid of young Avi in deciphering the scroll. Turns out her unborn child might kick off end of times festivities by being born without a soul.

Also in the mix is Father Lucci, cause you have to have an evil Catholic Priest in these sort of things, and the movie makes the mistake of going with "the wondering Jew" mythology, which is going to confuse the hell out of some viewers. Would you die for this movie?

Mix and match theology never really works at the movies, this movie would be a prime example of that truism

The Omen has a lot to answer for as it has kicked off a whole "end of days" sub genre that ranges from excellent (The Omen), through okay (The Seventh Sign), to downright woefully inept (Revelations). As one would expect from movies based on The Omen the set piece death stuff has pretty much dominated the sub genre to it's detriment, whereas Seventh Sign is at least going in different directions. Unfortunately the movie gets so weighed down with it's own iconology that we end up with a complete mess, but what the heck, how many people having their heads chopped off by panes of glass do you really want to dial into?

In terms of the script getting tied up in knots, and sending Biblical scholars into raptures of rage, the fable of Cartophilus used in the movie should suffice. According to Medieval Christian teaching Cartophilus was one of, a temple guard, a shoemaker, or some passer-by. Sources conflict on who Cartophilus was to be honest, so take your pick. In any case we're talking a walk by bitch slapping of Jesus Christ as he was being dragged away to be Crucified. JC wasn't taking this lying down, no sirree bob, he apparently fixed Cartophilus with both barrels and announced "Tarry thee until I come again". Okay normally who would give a toss right, condemn criminal on the way to execution, Bundy had better sound bites! Anywise turns out JC had a good handle on Biblical prophecies, as one would expect, and Cartophilus was cursed to walk the Planet immortal till the Second Coming. Hence the whole "wandering Jew" mythology. Just think about that, you would have to live through Presidents Regan, Bush Senior, and Junior Dubya. Now that's some sort of curse.

The Green's tie this in pretty well to the apocalypse vision going down in The Seventh Sign, but miss one salient point in doing so. Who the hell is meant to be Jesus Mark II, David I guess? And that whole Book of Revelations thing did mention a certain whore, the anti-Christ, and assorted demons and the like. This is pretty lazy writing, in a sort of grab bag of Christian mythology, without thinking things through. You can't throw on one aspect of Revelations and then sort of forget the rest; it's either all or nothing from my end of the sofa. On the bright side of the chalice I got to use some of that Religious tuition my Catholic High School decided I needed, otherwise known as papal propaganda. Apologies to any fellow Catholics out there. If Father Brandon is reading this, then yes crucifixion is too good for those Presbyterian bastards, and I'm up for a beer and whiskey chaser anytime you are in town. Calling score here, two major religious will be denouncing me as the Son of Satan next Sunday. Now if I could just tie in the Jews, Islam, and those eastern religions I would have the full set of cards. Sorry totally off the point in terms of a movie review here, blame the head cold I am currently suffering from.

The Seventh Sign throws in a lot of visualizations of the events that the Book of Revelations happened to mention would go down. You know like the oceans dying, climatic changes, moon turning red, rivers turning into blood, that sort of thing. Unfortunately for those of us who simply love our Biblical prophecy, and a nasty blood spilling book Revelations is as well, we're talking cut price Kmart prophecies here. I was disappointed in this aspect of the movie as I was hoping for some high operatic stuff going down; Sodom in this movie is some hick town in the Negev desert rather than New York. If I'm watching an end of days movie I want to see NYC biting the big one, or at a pinch Los Angeles. No one is really trying on the big dramatic set pieces in this movie. Where's Roland Emmerich when you need him!

Overall Seventh Sign is trite with no real surprises, and pretty much collapses under it's over wrought script. Just what is the requirement of end of days flicks to mix in pregnancy and Gregorian chants? People making sub genre flicks just can't get enough of that stuff. The Greens miss the boat on the pregnancy and vulnerability ride, while the Gregorian chant stuff is by now over used. Don't even get me started on the resolution and final scene, wet squid time down the cinema that dripped blood.

Behind the camera Carl Schultz is doing a pretty good job of keeping the atmospherics going and the tension building in this cut price epic. Lots of cool overheads, good use of track, and some stylised scenes add up to a pretty good effort. Loved his use of a waterfall in the opening scene, even though it had exactly zero to do with the rest of the movie. Maybe some sort of motif I missed or something? Schultz also handles the flashbacks and dream sequences to add meat to the bone pretty effectively. Notably the Director isn't from the horror ghetto, which could go someway to explaining things.

Dem-I Moore (Abby) gets chief billing in Seventh Sign and manages to whine and cry her way through the movie. In defense of Ms Moore, pregnant chicks are emotional and she nails that aspect of the character. Slightly over the top in terms of dramatic emoting, but not her worse effort to date. Michael Biehn (Russell) is simply miss cast in this movie and presents a pretty much unbelievable husband and Lawyer combo. Biehn is a fine actor, Corporal Hicks don't you know, but generally needs a whooping big gun to get emotional over. Jurgun Prochnow (David) is the pick of the bunch here, and does brooding supernatural dude pretty convincingly. Prochnow goes some ways to saving this movie from sinking completely, but even he's hard pressed to make something out of his character.

T&A is pretty much on the exploitation, not needed, end of aisle three in Seventh Sign. For no apparent reason Dem-I gets the girls out in a bath scene, which I quite frankly found amusing rather than erotic, thus blowing a potentially dramatic moment. The Ladies as usual get the square root of bugger all in the eye candy stakes, as Gals didn't apparently go see horror flicks back in 1988. Hollywood Studio Executes really do need to get down the cinemas to scope their audience, word to the wise here it's not only teen males catching the latest scare feast.

Jack Nitzsche tabled a score that is pretty much predictable. End of days movie, add some Gregorian chant as nothing says apocalypse like it. Scene in the Middle East, add some Arab inspired notes. You get the picture here right? Schultz uses the score sparingly, thus trying to avoid the obvious comparison to Jerry Goldsmith's superior effort for The Omen, and is content to up the everyday sound bites rather then rely on over dramatic movements. Schultz knows what he is doing, Nitzsche leaves you with the feeling he cobble together the score from other movies.

While noting the 101 flaws in Seventh Sign I was happy enough to munch popcorn and go with the flow here. Some tension in places, but overall a let down on what the movie could have done with it's Book of Revelations basis. The mixing in of the "wandering Jew" myth really added nothing to the recipe, notable Resurrection also makes this mistake. If you break Seventh Sign down in terms of the Christian mythos it really makes very little sense, but then when was that a requirement in order to dial into a horror flick? Director Schultz at least avoids dropping sudden shock scenes in and is trying to make a weighty movie. I was entertained, though somewhat ambivalent towards the movie as the end credits rolled.

Sort of a recommendation on a sort of movie. Seventh Sign isn't on the prescribe horror curriculum as it is heavily informed by both The Omen and Rosemary's Baby, while not adding anything new or unique to the genre. Seventh Sign is one of those quiet horror flicks that the Studios toy with every now and again, without having any real idea of exactly what tiger they have by the tail. Worth a look if you are either a Dem-I fan or the whole end of days thing floats your boat. Would I die to watch this movie again, that would be a negative.