Review

The Bow Bells retirement home is about to be sold and the residents moved up North due to the continued redevelopment of London's East End. Brothers Terry and Andy are standing in the way of the Developers due to their grandfather Ray being a resident. While the Developers are giggling hysterically the Bros have developed a plan to rob the local Bank in order to raise cash to avoid the retirement home being demolished. Their gang of desperadoes including cousin Katy, an expert on all sorts of things, Metal Mickey, a psychopath with a personal arsenal that makes the army look ill equipped, and Tuppence, who might not be the best choice in gang members.

Meanwhile local construction workers have unearthed a "plague pit" which kicks off a zombie apocalypse in the East End. While our gang of unusual suspects are in the process of robbing the bank the zombies overrun the East End and the Government lock it down. Terry and Andy and the team decide they need to rescue Ray and the old Geezers and get out of the area before they join the undead hordes. Also along for the ride are a couple of hostages the gang took when the Police surrounded the bank during the robbery. Can Cockneys who have never been out of the East End actually get out of the East End during a zombie apocalypse?

Director Matthias Hoene, clearly influenced by Edgar Wright's Shaun of the Dead (2004), delivers a zom-com that pits inner city Londoners against an undead plague. While the comedy is pretty high on the agenda here the actual spills and chills are less apparent. I was appreciating a bunch of movie references, some outrageous ideas that kept things rocking, and a pacing that simply put it into high gear and let it rip. Unfortunately there is also the odd plot point being left waving in the wind and some scenes that could have done with perhaps a bit more thought being put into them. End of day I've watch the movie four times now and am not discounting a fifth viewing later this evening. Okay I'm going head to head with Matthias Horne's latest outrageous shocker.

Hoene gets his movie underway in a nice fashion, an excavator operator is digging on site when he unearths what looks to be an entrance to a crypt. His supervisor gets him to stop and then the two discuss what could be down there, with the allure of possible treasure the pair are breaking in even though the crypt appears to have a royal warning against opening. As day follows night, at least in a zombie movie, the undead awaken and attack like a pack of ravourness Dobermans. Well okay one emancipated skeleton attacks in what I took to be a reference to The Return of the Living Dead. Drop your linen and start your grinning we're in typical zombie territory with the apocalypse being unleashed. I was actually more than impressed by Hoene's opening, he has it rocking out and set ups the rest of the movie with effortless attention to atmosphere and keeping things moving.

There's a lot more humour here than scares, but with the title that's probably to be expected

Through the middle block of the movie we have two separate focal points; Terry and Andy with team are in the process of robbing a bank, which naturally goes wrong, and Ray and the pensioners fighting off the zombie horde. Each separate group is handled well, with very solid blocking and jumping between the groups. Of course the movie does then end with the combined group fighting out of the East End trying to survive, so yes we do get the standard zombie development. Director Hoene clearly knows how to construct a movie in three acts and naturally develops between them.

You have to love some of the ideas being thrown on the screen during this movie as Hoene proves that his movie is never going to take itself seriously. A group of old folk dancing to "Knees Up Mother Brown" as an armed robbery is going down, the gang bursting out of the bank ready to do or die with the police only to find that the zombie apocalypse has hit the immediate vicinity taking away the expected confrontation, and the star on top of this particular tree an old dude trying to escape lumbering zombies using his Zimmer frame in one of the more outrageous chase scenes you are ever likely to run across in a horror flick. Almost forgot to mention the opposing groups of zombie football fans clashing while the humans escape them.

I was also amused by the constant references to zombie lore that are thrown in, yes even the layman probably knows you can only kill a zombie by shooting it in the head, but thanks for the reminder Emma. We also have Katy telling us Mickey is probably infected after he gets bitten, of course no one believes her. And of course Andy wonders why the zombies aren't moving fast, Terry informs him that they are dead hence hardly likely to run like Olympic sprinters. Clearly Writers James Moran and Lucas Roche are aware of the at times acrimonious debate raging in horror circles between the supports of Romero style zombies and those supporting the post 28 Days Later sprinters.

Running out of space here but I would like to mention the work behind the camera Director Matthias Hoene puts in. Besides some excellent camera angles we have good use of frame speeds from sudden stops to slow motion to normal all within the same scene. I was also digging the scene where a shotgun goes off in a van and everyone is momentarily deaf, including the audience.

Okay so gore hounds are going to be more than satisfied with this movie, plenty of blood and gruel being splattered about with total disregard for the cinematic cleaning bill. For those after some T&A you're going to be out of luck in the big city, while the language might have Rob Zombie blushing the movie is pretty prim and proper when it comes to being naughty. For those who dig chicks with guns however you're going to be rocking out.

So I got a copy of Cockneys vs Zombies dropped on me with a demand for a review, some people just don't know you should never ask for something in horror, you might just get it. While not the best zombie flick I have ever seen it definitely wasn't the worse either. Not sure if I'm getting slightly over the whole zombie thing or not, but besides the comedy I wasn't taking a lot from this movie. Good fun, I rocked out to the story, but was never overly committed to the zombie premise. End of day CGI effects are pretty noticeable but the makeup is working, good story and a movie that doesn't attempt to be more than it actually is. Recommended to those who want something slightly less hard core than the normal horror flick delivers, this movie spends its time delivering to those just wanting a good time.