Review

Dana has been informed that her father killed three Priests, and the cast of The Artist including the dog, so naturally she takes a film crew to visit with Dad in the world's finest psychiatric Hospital, that just happens to be in Rome, queue Mario Bros skit. Dad isn't interested in Dana but hires a couple of Asian hookers via her mobile phone. You can do that? - not that I want to know. Dana leaves somewhat upset vowing to never see Daddy dearest ever again. Instead she goes on one of those reality match up television shows, sorry not hip to the genre, and meets the love of her life Aaron Galen. They marry three months later, Dana not being put off by Aaron's rebellious teenage daughter Liz, and pretty soon add a baby to the mix.

Deciding the current one bedroom apartment they share with a Latino family is too small for the Galen clan they move into Dana's dad's house. Hence why the apparently unemployed Aaron can afford a fairly upmarket large McMansion complete with Hispanic live in help Felipe. Naturally they fit out the house with full CCTV, as you do, which completes the inordinate amount of hand held cameras, camera phones, and tablets the Galens own. Almost from the first night spooky things being to happen, like me continuing to watch this movie, and the family are soon under open assault by paranormal entities, the Ghost Brothers, and Abraham Lincoln inexplicably. Add in what amounts to a petting zoo and you are in for, oh what the hell, a movie that is pretty lame but which features a Llama!

Director/Writer Craig Moss has made a career out of making particularly bad spoof movies and here turns his jaundice vision to the horror genre. I'm not against films sending up the genre, for sure there are enough bad movies to dine out on, but the sort of juvenile rubbish that tends to be made is even worse than the shtick they are supposedly sending up. 30ish, to save typing the overly long title, is the sort of movie that particularly challenged tweens would have made if they thought they were being clever. It's that peculiar second rate Yank humour that movie makers think audiences will lap up but which in fact bores people to death. In essence we're talking a waste of digital ink here, there is no redeeming feature to be had, Mel Brooks was doing this schlock a couple of decades ago and even then it wasn't particularly funny to anyone with an I.Q that exceeds their age.

The movie kicks off with a piss take on Storage Wars, Adele, and The Devil Inside, which might have been funny if I was either totally wasted off my brain or had never seen a spoof movie before. All the intro managed to do was remind me that at least two of the things being attacked had more talent on any given Sunday than the lame arsed movie I was watching. Hell I would rather sit through an Adele concert, accent and all, than re-watch the congealed stew that was thrown on my screen. On the bright side I knew I was in for a torrid viewing time right from the get go, unfortunately as a Reviewer who takes things semi serious I was condemned to wading through the rest of the shite sent my way. Taking a bullet for the team y'all, remember me when it's time to send out the Xmas cards yo!

The principle target of 30ish however is the first three Paranormal Activity movies, which have become the target of convenience for those following the herd. While 30ish lands some blows, the pool cleaner, fan cam, etc there wasn't much I had to raise a grin on. Mixing in a ghost that seems to have been a former contestant on the Brit Big Brother wasn't helping either. The skits thrown onto my screen all had a seen it before got the tee feeling. But if you dislike Paranormal Activity, apparently all the fashion currently, you might enjoy some pretty lame humour being made at the expense of the most successful found footage franchise horror has ever produced. Sorry I've seen the piss taken out of PA once too often this year to be generally amused by yet another attempt by run of the mill spoof movie makers doing it yet again.

This movie proved to be a job of work, thank god it's behind me

While a whole gambit of other movies are singled out for attack there are some recurrent themes going down that really did nothing to leave me with fond feelings towards the flick. Farting plays a big role in 30ish which would have been fine, big believers in bum humour here at Scaryminds, except an ill wind has been prevalent in a lot of horror spoofs recently. Repetition is not fun times at Ridgemont High unless it also involves some freshness. The fart humour here was pretty stinky to be honest, not silent but deadly, more a wet paper bag. Is it just me or does the whole sending up of the gay character comes across as slightly limp wristed? Felipe is our token Latino homo for the evening and once again the clichés roll quick and fast without raising a chuckle. The Wayans were doing this better back in the day.

Need I mention gore isn't high on the agenda, unless you call death by demonically possessed pool cleaner a red letter moment. On the bright side we get a regular dose of boobs, including chicks showering together, and Kathryn Fiore was prancing around in a baby doll nightie for large chucks of the movie's running time. So booyeah, bring on down the popcorn, chicks naturally don't get anything as they are clearly judged too intelligent to dial into this smorgasbord of inanity.

Acting is of the B grade Mel Brooks school of cashing a cheque style. Sorry to disappoint but no 30ish will not be featuring in any of the Acting categories at this year's Oscars.

I picked up 30ish on sale figuring I might get a few laughs, I was wrong, so very wrong. The movie is one of those particular Yank outings that doesn't really produce anything like fun times for a Downunder audience; I guess we would call it "undergraduate humour". While the movie didn't bore me, it had a llama! - I wasn't exactly laughing my arse off at it either. No recommendation, just another half baked attempt at humour by people that haven't developed the writing skills to nail the requirement.