Review

The Doctor and Clara arrive in Los Vegas, if by Vegas we mean a disabled Russian ballistic submarine during the height of the cold war. Seems the Sub has a few problems and is heading toward the depths, however the Doctor manages to save the day leaving everyone stranded 700 fathoms down in the murky depths on a pretty unstable outcrop of rock. The Crew naturally think the Doctor and Clara are Western Spies, which kind of explains their arrival out of thin air during an emergency right? The Tardis has been fitted with a Hostile Action Displacement System (HADS), which simply means it exits stage left leaving the Doctor and Clara on the submarine which is taking on water and running out of air.

Naturally, just to make things slightly more complex, the Russians have picked up what they think is a mammoth frozen in ice, and naturally one of them can't wait tot get back to Moscow to unwrap their early Christmas present. Turns out they have managed to unearth an Ice Warrior who has been frozen for 5,000 years but is still very much alive. Grand Marshall Skaldak doesn't have the best introduction to Soviet hospitality, being hit with a cattle prod and then chained up, so naturally decides to fire off some nukes to kick start World War Three and leave planet Earth stained red with human blood. Can the Doctor retrieve the situation, stop mutual destruction, and somehow get the submarine back to the surface? - even a Time Lord is going to need a little helping hand.

There's just something satisfying about an episode that shows the legendary David Warner, dude was photographer Jennings in The Omen amongst a multitude of other roles, playing an eccentric Russian scientist singing along to Ultravox's Vienna which is playing on a Walkman, (kids ask your parents), while onboard a Soviet submarine. I was hungry like the wolf for the scene and it kicked started Cold War in positive fashion, then things went downhill in a big way unfortunately. So much fanboy excitement about the return of the Ice Warriors, so much disappointment, let's get this over with and move on with our lives.

While Cold War harkens back to classic Dr Who with the whole under siege thing, and a rising body count it should be added, the episode lacked a basic ingredient, namely tension. Once we got a good look at Skaldak, wonderfully kept off screen during the first half of the episode, things just went through the paces till the predetermined conclusion. At no stage did I manage to suspend my disbelief enough to believe that either the Doctor or Clara wouldn't get out of the situation. All I was left with when the end credits rolled was the satisfaction in knowing the Ice Warriors could come back at any time, hopefully when the series Producers work out they are leaking audience numbers and move to get things altogether back on track. Sorry this pandering to North American audience expectations has really lead to a very poor couple of seasons, notably with drop offs in viewing rates in traditional markets like Australia and New Zealand. Doctor Who tragics are of course still tuning in each week, I'm waving here not drowning, but if this state of affairs continues even I'm going to turn off the tellie, put down the remote, and spend some more quality time reading.

Somehow I expected a whole lot more from this episode, seriously couldn't they have got something epic happening.

On the bright side of the sonic screwdriver the creature design was pretty bloody good and had me nodding my head in approval. The Ice Warrior armour is an improvement over previous incarnations, it looked functional and weapons grade, while still retaining enough features to make it instantly recognisable. I was neither here nor there on the actual Ice Warrior design however, sort of worked in a clearly made for television fashion that is pretty much in keeping with traditional Who.

While there are probably a zillion and one references to classic Whovian tropes I was more impressed with the references to Sci-Fi horror being thrown around the episode. Clearly the Ice Warrior buried in a block of ice was a direct reference to The Thing, either original or John Carpenter version, but when Skaldak gets zapped with the cattle prod we are talking the original movie, The Thing From Another World (1951). The Ice Warrior is making a whole bunch of Predator (1987) noises, pity they didn't include some of that gnarly Pred POV. Clara makes a direct quote from Aliens (1986), sorry thought I had written that down. And finally the sailor being dragged upwards is certainly a nod to Ridley Scott's Alien (1979). You could also make a case for the Ice Warrior's hands being a nod to the recent War of the Worlds remake, and the decision to split up and search the sub as being a direct nod to the crew of the Nostromo. I was grooving to this aspect of the episode, pity it wasn't a two part outing with even more room for winks to the audience!

The other aspect to the episode I was digging, besides some well past brilliant dialogue and situational comedy, was Clara coming to the realisation it's not all fun and hijinks as the Doctor's companion. A rising body count brought home to Clara this was all pretty real, though they belaboured this point to such a degree I had to give myself a face palm. Once again the North American influence I would imagine. Clara is certainly growing as a character with Actress Jenna-Louise Coleman making her at least the equal of Amy Pond. My wife has probably stopped reading and when be on the phone shortly to point out I'm wrong on that statement. There's still an enigma about Clara, but thankfully the Producers aren't dragging that into every episode to the detriment of the season overall.

Before closing I just wanted to mention the set designs, once again a strong point of the season. There's a real sense of the claustrophobic aboard the submarine, which appears pretty realistic. Besides wondering just how high some of the rooms are, crew members being dragged upwards, the corridors are narrow, there's a lot of dripping water, and there's definitely no wasted space. At no stage did I feel that the action wasn't going down in an enclosed metal box. After the last episode it was actually quite nice to come on back to a closed world of pretty mundane machinery giving off an industrial vibe.

Cold War, guess that would be a pun in the title then, was a disappointing return for the Ice Warriors and once again underlines the at best uneven nature of season seven. I liked some aspects of the episode but overall was disappointed; the season really does need a standout episode to bring it home from here. Clara however is developing into one of the great companions, she just needs a Doctor that can match her on screen fire, Matt Smith isn't that Doctor. With five more episodes till the end of the season I'm really hoping for something magical in the coming weeks. Not a recommended episode for anyone beyond the Whovian tragics.

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ScaryMinds Rates this episode as ...