Review

Hang onto your undies: Outsider is going in, not just to the classic original but the whole franchise. If I need to explain the plot outline of this one then you really are at the wrong site. Michael Myers kills sister on Halloween back in the 60s, gets carted away to the nut farm for a number of years, escapes and heads back to Haddonfield to take care of unfinished business. He came home and he's the bogeyman.

Go get 'em, Outsider!

Since we are approaching the final stretch of Halloween, I thought it time to do a little look back on this horror classic. Preferably before Rob Zombie rapes and destroys it by remaking it next year (Zombie, give Gus Van Sant a call and ask how advisable this is). This film has become the ultimate required viewing at most horror fans' homes on Halloween night. Given the fickle nature of today's audiences, it is still amazing to me that such a film would last as long as it has, but thanks to the title and holiday, TV stations around the country air this baby or one of its numerous sequels over and over. Let us take a look back at this still relevant classic.

Halloween begins with a bang. Through the view-hole of a mask, a figure methodically stalks a pretty young woman on Halloween. Walking up the steps, into the house, up the stairs...until he finds her. He raises his knife and plunges it into her, over and over until death takes over. The figure, breathing heavily but with an eerie calm, is revealed...as a little child!

Yes! This is the beginning of the legend of Michael Myers. Little Mikey offed his sister in a glorious setup for the film to follow. Years later, a much more grown-up Michael wakes up on October 30th and decides that today is the day he wants to get his kill on. Due to circumstances much in his control, he escapes and begins his fateful trek back to his childhood home in Haddonfield, Illinois.

Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence - overactor extraordinaire) learns of said crazy guy escape and, believing Michael is too evil to contain after years of failed treatments, heads out to find wacko boy. Loomis remembers staring into the evil of Myers for years and knows where he is headed. Loomis grabs a hold of his best monologuing and high-tails it to Haddonfield, where he convinces the local sheriff that Michael Myers is coming to trick-or-treat.

The night we all came home to horror

Enter Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis - great body, ugly woman). Laurie is preparing for a lovely night of babysitting on Halloween night, when she thinks she is being followed. Going through town, school, etc, she continues to see a faint figure that is fixated on her. But this being a horror film, she just whines and tells her friends about it without bothering to notify the 5-0 that some freak is hanging out in her bushes. The film continues as Laurie begins her babysitting duties with the two kiddies, Dr. Loomis and the sheriff scurry all over town trying to catch nutball, all while nutball is casing Laurie's pad across the street (and offing many of her friends in the process) while waiting for his chance at Laurie.

The reasons for Michael's obsession with Laurie will not become clear until the sequel, but it honestly does not matter. This is a horror film, a slasher flick, and there is no deeper meaning or message for sale here. Michael is a wack job who most likely spent too much time with the local priest as a little boy and just snapped. Regardless of his motives, he is precise and methodical like a good serial killer should be. Laurie, for the film’s time, comes across as a resourceful victim, one willing to fight for her life even though she really needs to learn to not just chill every time she thinks she's offed someone. It was always refreshing to see a female not just whine and cry but actually DO something about it back in the days that this film was at its high point.

Originally conceived as a sequel to the Bob Clark secret horror classic Black Christmas (Carpenter wrote it that way and Clark eventually let him run with the idea as a separate film), Halloween is a masterpiece of film cinema. It was not necessarily the first slasher flick or even the best one (ummm, Psycho, anyone?), it was simply the one that invigorated the genre and brought the crowds out in droves. John Carpenter wrote, directed and scored the film, and terrified the shit out of millions of horny teenagers worldwide. He did NOT, (contrary to many morons who apparently did not actually watch the film), show miles of gore; there is barely a pint of blood in the entire film. You saw the reactions of the murders, but rarely the actual act. Instead he lets the mood unsettle you, the killer's actions and lack of emotion or talking going great lengths to disturb you. He had the confidence to say that just because you had a methodical villain, it does not mean that he needs to explain himself. He simply took a man, gave him a very creepy William Shatner mask and unleashed an icon.

This is also one of those films that demonstrates how important a good score is to the mood of a film. Like Jaws, Star Wars or Indiana Jones, Halloween has its own theme that still creeps me out to this day. Written and scored by Carpenter himself, the theme has done the same as the film: become a symbol of the holiday in the title. Taking cues from every eerie sound ever heard combined with the nerve of the Psycho theme, this is easily the most haunting horror score in history. Never have I come to an October without hearing either the theme song or the mention of the film at some point during the month.

It is amazing to me how popular this film still is. There are many other slasher films out there, and many of them are just as good if not better, (yeah, I said it!). But none have the iconic status of Carpenter's film and none have the worldwide attention on Halloween night as this film.

The sequels have, in a rare occurrence, done little to minimize audiences love for the original. Typically when a film is this iconic, a few bad sequels and the original's good name lessens. And there have been a LOT of sequels, look at this:

Halloween 2 - 7/10 Actually not a bad sequel, though the film does contain a few too many gore shots instead of relying on the original's mood of dread. Taking place almost exclusively at a local hospital on the same night as the first film, this one follows Michael's attempt to get to Laurie while in recovery. The poor girl just got attacked for like hours, you killed a bunch of her friends, and now you can't let her take a nap? What a jackass! Also, this film explains the mythology of the first film so it is pretty much a requirement.

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch - 1/10 Okay, a bleeping sequel that has NOTHING carried over from the other films except for occurring on the same holiday. Not only that, it is a horrid idea, horrid film AND horrid sequel. This POS revolves around Halloween masks that turn little kids' heads into snakes and shit when they watch bad TV...like this film.

Halloween - Return of Michael Myers - 8/10 Okay, this is my favorite of the sequels. Michael escapes another institution on All Hallow’s Eve (this dude is more resourceful than Jack Bauer), then decides to comes back to Haddonfield for his little niece. This time they go more for mood than any of the others and rely minimally on the gore. Also, a great ending that was all but ignored in subsequent films.

Halloween 5 - Revenge of Michael Myers - 5/10 Trying to make this a direct continuation of 4 was a noble attempt. Too bad it failed. Michael returns once again to terrorize his little niece. The ending was the worst of any horror film as it offered a huge cliff-hanger that had a horrible resolution. (And by the way? Where is the revenge?? I'm pretty sure he was just as pissed off as he was any other time.)

Halloween 6 - The Curse of Michael Myers - 3/10 Craptastic! Truly not even worth the mention. Bad story, direction, acting and sadly, the last time we get to see the always welcome Donald Pleasence. And again, no 'curse' as in the title. Do they even bother to read the script before they title these things??

Halloween H20 - 7/10 The closest to the original in terms of mood. I prefer H4 because it moves faster but this would easily be my second-favorite sequel. Jamie Lee revisits her Laurie Strode character for only the third time and still plays the part as if there was no time lost. The ending of the film, exciting and necessary, should have been IT...but then there was...

Halloween: Resurrection - 4/10 When you have to throw in Tyra Banks and Busta Rhymes, you know this is going to blow. Trying to put a 'spin' on the series, this one involves a live web-cam following a bunch of morons at a slumber party on Halloween night inside the ole Myers house. Apparently Michael does not like to entertain.

There are roughly 496 versions of the film on DVD so it is very hard to choose. The best option would be the 2-disc version from last year if you can find it. Though there is a new anniversary edition out, this one has basically the same materials: commentaries, featurettes on the film and the subsequent sequels (minus an interesting documentary that only the hardest of fans will appreciate) - and it also includes the extended version of the film. That is my recommendation and I couldn't recommend it more.

Of course, coming next Halloween is the attempted remake (or 'reimagining' as chicken shit studios like to call their destruction of a classic) of this flick, written and directed by House of 1000 Corpses and rock god auteur Rob Zombie. Hopefully he won't screw with the music. Wait, let me clarify - He BETTER not f#*@ with the score...I do not have the patience for that sort of nonsense.

In the meantime, go home and make some popcorn. Find someone you love (or lust a whole lot). Play the theme music for about twenty minutes before the film to get in the right mood. Then turn the lights down and catch up with a modern classic. Michael Myers is alive...and he has a lot to do.