The Amityville Horror (1978)

Sex :
Violence :
Author Jay Anson Reviewer :
Publisher Pan Books
Length 188 pages
Genre Hoax
Blurb More hideously frightening than The Exorcist because it actually happened!
Country

Review

Reader Challenge - Man versus Horror Classic

"I'm not going through that business again!" - Father Mancuso

For those that may have just joined the ranks of dark genre fandom the plot. George and Kathy Lutz buy their dream house, 112 Ocean Avenue, Amityville. The previous owners had all come to a gruesome end when son Ronald DeFeo went on a rampage with a hunting rifle, hence the house comes cheap. Naturally since the Lutz team have never apparently seen a horror movie they move in with their three children intent on living the dream.

Turns out the house would not have been cheap at any price as it apparently contains a paranormal entity that goes on various rampages forcing the Lutz clan to flee the vicinity after 28 days of increasing supernatural shenanigans. We're talking demonic forces, giant pigs, ghosts, and for no apparent reason marching bands. Added bonus, gloop dripping down the walls and blocked up toilets. Did I mention a fly infestation problem? - anyways haunted house on steroids, apparently a true story if you are a rube, let's do some cleansing!

Guess, as opposed to that wimp Stephen King, we have to lock and load on the whole "true story" malarkey that still has some of the more gullible believing today. I was going to have a swipe at Melissa George over the belief thing, but hell she's blonde so that explains things there. To be concise, if you believe this bollocks is true then I have a harbour bridge I can sell you, it spans swamp land yo! The Amityville Horror is a concocted yarn, apparently thought out over a few bottles of wine, that has been promoted by various interested parties seeking to make gain from a public who want to believe. Any discerning horror fan is going to pick out the common elements that go into the book and if real good they will be able to point to the source material for those elements. George, mate, Indian burial grounds aren't really connected to marching bands, sorry to disillusion you, but it simply isn't a happening thing! Since the Lutz family, who apparently held a yard sale the next day at 112 Ocean Avenue after doing a runner in terror the previous night, have moved subsequent owners can report zero activity of a paranormal or giant pig kind.

Moving along, one of the crew is working on an essay exposing the hoax which should see publication later in the year, how does the actual book stack up as a read? I'm calling The Amityville Horror by Jay Anson a "found footage" book devised before that particular bug bear came out from under the bed! Anson simply reports what apparently went down without overly dropping emotion or in fact any sort of Author intrusion into the text. It's just the facts and nothing but the facts, there is no moral spin thrown onto the table, which is just as well really considering the shysters or at best deluded folk behind the shenanigans going down in Amityville.

Jay Anson writes some reasoned prose but doesn't at any stage get any feeling happening in the book, this surprisingly works for The Amityville Horror, I even got the odd cold finger down my spine happening. Then again I'm a sucker for a haunted house yarn presented as found footage. Perhaps the only problem here is things don't escalate in any meaningful way, sure the first incursions of the paranormal are the usual doors opening by themselves et al, but pretty soon the band has reformed and by book end we have heard the music all before. And sorry a giant pig simply had tears rolling down my eyes rather than delivering porcine horror. I thought the roll of cash lost without trace in the house was a good touch though, ultimate eee-vil knows how things roll in the cash strapped Lutz household.

Having ensured there's no build up in hostilities leading to a crescendo of mayhem towards the end of the book, Anson throws his cards onto the table but then leaves any number of them unturned. The Priest subplot simply goes nowhere, since Father Mancuso doesn't actively face the forces of darkness hanging in George Lutz's basement. The boathouse is mentioned ad nausea without George confronting what may lurk below. And the whole well in the basement thing is mooted and then left uncovered. Clearly those bottles of wine were affecting the note taking while the Amityville farce was being concocted and Anson simply hammered everything onto paper via the typewriter to produce the book. There's so many open ended paths going down here I'm surprised Jody didn't get lost in the woods.

I was also intrigued by the epilogue to this one as it hinted at a whole bunch of subsequent books that no one has bothered to grab the rights to, with good reason. The aforementioned Lorraine and Ed Warren get tacked on to a list of various researchers that hit the house to record evil for posterity, more on that duo of deception in a subsequent essay. And it's hinted that the evil has left the building and followed the Lutz family to their safe haven, brother can I get a break here, that one has been hammered to death yo.

So I got the odd chill from this old pot boiler but not enough to recommend it. Anson simply doesn't involve the reader enough as he types out the notes made around a dinner table in semi coherent fashion. A ScaryMinds reader challenged the team to tackle this book, and proving we occasionally read our email here's the sad and sorry result. I don't think anyone is any better off for the experience of reading this sham, but hey at least we can cross it off the list and move on with our lives. Besides which with two, count them, two, new Amityville movies hitting out this year it seemed somehow topical to tackle the original source material.

For those who simply must catch up with this "true story", sorry still chuckling over that one, the book is still available in print editions, though you might be stretching to find a copy Downunder. Amazon no doubt has your back there. For the purposes of this review I picked up a copy off eBay for a few bucks hoping to get the original, that would be the one before Anson was forced to change names as legal action was threatened by those being misrepresented in the original text, unfort got the second print edition. Bummer huh!

And before I forget, my Wife can relate the story of how they had flies infesting a room in a rented house in Scotland during the middle of Winter! Dramatic music, thunder crash, and bring on a red room in the basement! Turns out the pesky insects can survive in a warm house if they have somewhere to raise the maggots, in my Wife's case it was an attic used by the owner to store animal pelts. So yeah, before screaming demonic influences, the truth really is out there.

Beyond Scary Rates this read as ...

  If they hadn't pushed the true story thing this might have been a decent read.