Talk us through itNewlyweds George and Kathy buy into a house that was the scene of a mass murder. We’re talking a horror movie, a house going cheap … it isn’t going to end up all wine and roses. Over 28 days things go wrong on the home renovation front, George develops a love affair with his axe (not the one in his jockey juniors sickos), Kathy does the mom thing, and Rod Steiger hopelessly overacts. What more do you want from a horror flick? Well okay, a decent movie for the nitpickers reading. Guess for anyone reading the plot outline, little of it that there is, it was always going to be of little interest and you already know it if you have had any time in Country in Horror-ville. To paraphrase, and thus save myself work, haunted house, gradually escalation in paranormal activity as things unfold, waiting for the end credits ensued. This movie hasn't really matured like a fine bottle of wine yadda yadda. Ready to check out property values in Amityville?
Review“Jody doesn't like George...” – AmyOkay so people have been complaining that the site is sans reviews of classic horror movies, and when are we going to get around to reviewing their favourite horror film? Showing that we care and then don’t give a damn, I dialled into the Amityville phone directory and lobbed this sucker-punch on the DVD player. So quit complaining, the movie did okay at the box office, and lots of misguided folk think it’s a core outing in the dark genre. If this is classic horror then we’re in real deep trouble, not even taking into account Rob Zombie doing his best to erode what reputation the dark genre has. Still people were asking for a review of The Amityville Horror so in the old "be careful what you wish for" adage here you go. Please note I'm not cleaning up the tiolet after this one. I was actually going to review Ring but had a few too many orange whips and somehow ended up with this movie showing instead. Go figure, demonic pigs made me do it. Warning to fellow Reviewers, don't get all work ethic orientated after the game, it only ever ends in mass confusion, and poorly thought out ideas. Two paragraphs into the review and sharp readers will note I haven't actually talked about the movie yet. 
There are a few decent scenes in the flick that threaten us with the possibility of a good movie, luckily Rod Steiger ensures that’s only a fleeting thought. I was full-on involved with James Brolin looking for the lost $1,500 (been there Bro), Kathy in that mirror scene, and something else that I’ve forgotten. It’s that sort of movie end of day. Someone want to explain what the boathouse was all about? Oh and Jody the Pig from pork-hell looking in a second story window, for a pretty poor special effect that actually worked go figure. If you are wondering whether this is going to be a coherent review, then rest assured it isn’t. Why bother structuring a review of a movie that was just a cynical money-maker? There’s this whole, hmmm just like The Exorcist, vibe going down while you watch the movie. For no apparent reason we get a Catholic priest subplot that does nothing, goes nowhere, and fills out the running time to our detriment. Guess the movie needed the Steiger name and then tagged that whole thing onto proceedings. Dudes, we’re putting the movie on for a haunted house experience, keep with the programme. Strangely, under heaven and hell and all that, the Priest fly thing is pretty much an iconic horror moment. You just have to wonder if we as horror fans simply love us some pain or have no taste when it comes to our moments in the sun, well okay after midnight on a stormy night if you want to be pedantic. I was watching this film waiting for scary stuff to happen. We get glimpses, but nothing like tension or build-up happening. The movie is almost episodic in how it portrays events; a scare scene is coming up, in the meantime here’s a red filtered external view of the house, or how about kids playing with the family dog. Making a coherent frightening genre flick seems to have been the last thing on the Director’s mind. Guess it’s that whole, “based on a real story” crapola interfering with the delivery of a half-decent movie we might enjoy. Sorry trying to stretch things out here to make a review and really failing on all fronts. There’s simply not much you can say about a real bad horror flick that simply exists to cash in on a best selling novel that's apparently based on a “true story”. Yes, I’m rolling around the floor laughing my arse off at that claim as well. Slight detour here, the whole "true events" angle was invented over wine in an infamous meeting between Ronald DeFeo's Lawyer and the Lutz team. Strangely as a defense it didn't work for the Lawyer but by jesus they have really tried to keep the "true story" thing happening. Goes to show what the concept of a few dollars will do. Adding sauce to the demonically infested house sitting were Ed and Lorraine Warren, two self proclaimed paranormal investigators that continue to try and shill the rubes even after various people involved in the Amityville hoax confessed things were made up. Back to the straight and narrow. Besides the few and far between well-made scenes, Margot Kidder (Kathy) was pretty good. She really brought across the concerned mom, devout Catholic, and bad gal when she wants to be feeling of the character. I was right behind what Ms Kidder had going down in this movie, and her performance remains one of the strengths of The Amityville Horror. The same can’t be said for James “I’ve got a beard” Brolin, and let’s not even go near Rod Steiger’s overheated pretence of acting here. I also for no apparent reason had a lot of fun with whoever was playing Kathy’s cousin, the one who was getting married. Okay the guy can’t act, but he reminded me of Leo Sayer – we should be dancing the night away. Was that look really a big thing in the late seventies, or were there no parts in a porno available for the guy at the time? A real highlight for yours truly at least. For those with a sharp eye, yes, that’s Mayor Larry Vaughn himself, the late Murray Hamilton, with a small support role. The dude is once again not closing the beaches, or in this case not allowing an exorcism to proceed. Given Rod Steiger’s performance I wouldn’t have granted anything he requested either. What a fund of trivia we really are here at ScaryMinds. T&A is restricted to Margot Kidder showing off her knickers, while strangely wearing a single stocking. Gals can dig in on the Brolin beard. Score wise the producers picked up the one The Exorcist didn’t want to use. Works in a spooky, harmonious kiddie voice way, and added to the tension at stages. Can’t fault it really, unfortunately the movie itself wasn’t strong enough to respect the score.
Summary ExecutionGuess if you talk to enough horror movie fans you might learn why this movie is a cult classic with some support going down. Personally I thought it was overblown, and a poor effort on making “the” great haunted house movie. The movie has a few good scares, but doesn’t build on the tension that should have been going down from the word go. A tighter editing attempt might have made for a better movie, and a few of the so-so scare scenes should have been jettisoned with more focus on the major ones. The score was pretty effective, with the harmonised voices a stand out effort, like a lot of this movie however it was the one The Exorcist rejected.At this point there have been surprisingly eight sequels to the movie, and the franchise has gotten increasingly stupid with each new movie. We have had three core Amityville movies before the demon hit the road via a mirror, a light stand, and a dollhouse. The results are about what you would expect. 2005 gave us a Platinum Dunes remake, which about caps off the hocus-pocus with rips from a huge number of other horror movies. Amityville movies are best served cold with large gaps between viewing them. All righty, we burst the front door off its hinges and reviewed a movie which has some historical significance in the horror genre. Back in the late 1970s the genre was shaking off its lethargy and getting back to business. The Amityville Horror was one of three movies that proved there was a willing audience waiting on anything Hollywood could throw at them. The Indies had of course been producing a regular stream of memorable fright movies, and of course some crap while the Majors slumbered on the horror front. While realising the significance of the film I can still offer no recommendation on it. A movie devout horror fans will catch, or even buy, but not one for those who don’t like the genre. Heed the tagline, for god’s sake get out, wish I had about half-way through.
ScaryMinds Rates this movie as ... More should of been done between the major scare scenes.
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