Review"He really does look like an angel, something from another world." - Frank DavisA remake of the cult Larry Cohen 1974 movie of the same name, It's Alive jettisons Cohen's inherent knowledge that he was making a “B” grade monster movie and instead tries to go with a serious assault on the sensibilities of the modern horror Audience. Unfortunately the remake, pretty much after the hospital delivery scene, is in name only, dispenses with any form of logic and simply stumbles along to it's conclusion through a series of mirth inducing murder scenes. It it just me or does non-mutant looking killer babies simply not cut mustard on the scare meter? Baby Daniel might be a monster, but gosh his mother loves him and his father simply doesn't recognise the signs that something might be terribly wrong. Hint for parents with new borns, if you discover a bunch of half devour critters around your house then seek some advice ASAP! Lenore, a twenty something student studying god alone knows what on some college scholarship, is pregnant and has a decision to make. Hey pappa don't preach, she's in trouble deep. She decides to move into her boyfriend's place, a rather expensive looking isolated abode in New Mexico, and make like happy families with Frank (boyfriend/husband?) and his physically impaired brother Chris. Oh and she's going to keep her baby. Even before Lenore can work out which draw she should set aside for lingerie she is rushed to hospital with severe abdominal cramps. Worse news is the baby has doubled in size and wants out, queue the “C” section stat! Baby Daniel is duly delivered and something or someone slaughters the entire delivery crew in much blood and later flashback strobe detail. Undeterred, new parents Lenore and Frank take baby Daniel home, and suddenly discover their vermin problems are over. With Lenore fussing about what Daniel is eating, you just don't know where those rats have been, Daniel decides to up the anti and take on something larger. Is Lenore overly maternal and is Frank on some really bad drugs? Less than pressing questions folks as I watched this one with a growing sense of wonder at the share inanity of the Hollywood remake machine. Yo that one's still in neutral dudes, try kick starting it. Director Rusnak goes all serious with what is at best a pretty mirth inducing idea, and rather than hitting the mutant scare factor decides to make a statement against abortion pills brought over the internet, or something. Maybe he was just saying the Medical profession isn't your best bet for long term career growth in New Mexico or something. Or maybe he didn't realise just how dumb his movie was going to be. Your guess is as good as mine and it's got to be better than thinking about the actual movie that rampages from one inane idea to the next with only slight detours to take in a victim at regular intervals. This is the sort of movie where an idea is developed, mercifully shelved before it can cause lasting harm, then pulled out again as it can put a character in harm's way. Maybe Rusnak was indicating that babies who live by CGI fire die by CGI fire? I was actually checking box office figures when It's Alive was stillborn as I either did something constructive or face the prospect of catching a snooze, yes the movie is that boring and doesn't develop any pace or rhythm. Actually if the parents had of tried the rhythm method we may have been spared the movie, at least according to birth control expert the Pope. You tell em big fella. During the 1970s the reason for Daniels predatory nature might have floated, everyone was heavily into mayhem via environmental pollution, but since we haven't had giant lizards assaulting New York or anything like a sludge monster it's kind of not working in the modern era. Just pick up your litter kids, save the planet, the whales will love you. Peace out and stuff. Time for a new paragraph this one is all over the shop. It's Alive is one of those movies where you are left wondering why they bothered. Larry Cohen had announced previously the remake was on, wasn't it meant to be set in the New York sewers or something? - but guess things fell through as he didn't mention the amateur hour acting or straight to DVD format. On the bright side of the operating theatre I now really want to see the original movie again. Give the It's Alive remake a miss folks, a lot more pre-natal care was needed with this one.
ScaryMinds Rates this movie as ... When killer babies go wrong.
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